Why Our Teens Do Not Have A Curfew

Yes, you read that title correctly. Our teens have no curfew. Life for us just does not fit inside of a box and curfews just create a boxing in of sorts. 

Curfews seem to create a sense of being out just to be out until curfew. Make sense? 

Our approach is to assess each outing as it comes. If our teens are out at a friend's house for a game night then they are probably going to get a later time to be home than a set curfew would allow. 

Our teens attended a movie with friends, on a school night even, they ended up going to a 10:00ish movie due to schedules and such. We agreed to the later time and they went to the movie.  We survived and so did they. 

Just this past weekend the teens stayed in town after the Sunday evening service to wait for one of their friends to arrive home from college. That late night trip to the airport will be a long held memory for all involved. But, they didn't just stay in town, they were at the home of a friend playing games and apparently eating cereal. 

I dare say parenting isn't about a to do checklist. Every day is different, every child is different. 

I personally am not a fan of teens just going out with no plan or place to be because it is Friday night. I lean more toward going about life with a purpose or plan. We are also blessed with great families to host the group our teens spend time with. Even if that plan is just game night with friends, it is a plan. 

Perspective

Life has a way of ebbing and flowing that also makes for eye opening experiences. Sometimes you can see the highest peaks clearly, just as a rare sighting of Denali while driving home from a weekend in Anchorage. 

Other times the clouds roll in and the view isn't quite as clear. 

Recently I have learned much and my eyes have been opened and the clouds have moved on and I can see clearly. 

Perspective and expectations are two things I have learned along the way. What??? 

Yes, perspective and expectations. 

What do I expect from from others and do I view situations from only my perspective? 

Expectations often cause problems in relationships. 

What do I expect of others?

Do they know my expectations of them?

Are the expectations realistic? 

This brings me to perspective. 

When expectations are not met it does pay to consider the life/situation of the other person. 

I am thankful to have finally put these two  items together in life circumstances. To remind myself that I should not expect more of others than they can give. I have also learned that I may not know what someone else is going through and why they make the decisions they make. I should give others the benefit of the doubt.  

 

E is for Effort

Yes, I said effort. I must make an effort to play games with my six year old. Movies and screen games are easy because they do not require Mom involvement. There I said it, I mentioned the elephant in the room. Now that I upgraded to a new phone we reset my old phone so Benjamin could have a mobile device for a couple of games for fun. We also have movies and internet access for movies and games, ya know, typical American home kind of stuff. Only, we are not typical Americans. Well, we weren't. I honestly enjoy my smartphone for the sheer convenience of checking email and social media and communication with other humans and music and so on. But, I notice that more times than not we sit around viewing screens way too much. 

Today I choose games on a Sunday afternoon between church services instead of knitting or a nap. I know I made a good choice.